Monthly Archives: August 2014

Pet Shaming Signs I Could Have Made

I know it’s been awhile since I’ve written anything on here, profound or not. Between medical stuff, getting ready to move, and I don’t know what all else, I need a break from writing about heavy stuff. Honestly, I just need to have some fun. With everything going on right now I think we could all use a laugh.

So, I decided to make a list of everything I could put on a pet shaming sign had the idea come to me at the time. I have had several cats over the years, and they have pulled some doozies. (Note: I absolutely do not believe in shaming people in any way, shape or form, but with pets, they pull stuff that makes you go, “Are You Freakin’ Kidding Me?!” and you get this irresistible urge to broadcast their stunt on the internet. Because seriously, Where Do They Get These Ideas?!

Okay, here goes. This isn’t every cat I’ve ever had, just the more diabolical ones whose stunts will live on in infamy.

Thomas, 1993-2012:

I hid in the dryer for over an hour while my humans were worried sick and turning the house upside down looking for me.”

I snuck out of the house got up on the roof.”

I smack the dog in the butt just for the fun of it.”

Shadow 2002-2013:

I steal shiny beauty tools and hide them behind the toilet.”

I decorated the whole living room in yarn.”

I’ve killed 3 butter dishes trying to get the butter.”

I pop out of the plants on the side of the house and scare the living daylights out of people.”

Luna, 2010-2012

Luna was by FAR the craziest cat I’ve ever had. Not that this has anything to do with pet shaming signs, but she walked on a leash, played fetch, and loved playing in the bathtub full of water. (She didn’t love getting baths though.) Without further ado, here are the signs I should have made for her:

I stole Mommy’s hearing aids while she was in the shower.”

I gave Mommy a concussion by landing on her head while she was sleeping.”

I killed the Christmas tree so many times it had to live in the bedroom.”

I licked the Virgin Mary in the nativity scene.”

Esther, 2001-:

I pooped OUTSIDE the high-walled litterbox while sitting IN it!”

And last but not least, my mother-in-law’s cat, Sophie:

“I brought a live rabbit into the house and caused half a day of mayhem!”

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Love/Hate Update 8/6/14

I started using this format for general updates when I had my previous blog, and I’m sticking with it! It’s great for when I either don’t have a lot to say or have plenty to say but can’t say it without throwing a huge tantrum. The second definitely describes me today!

Love:
-connecting with other women who cover their heads

-chocolate!!!

-“Sherlock”

-watching my husband watch “Sherlock”

-popcorn

-the sign for popcorn. You flick your thumb and finger upward starting with your dominant hand, and then do this with each hand a couple times. Best. Sign. Ever.

-getting to a place where I am starting to write out the full story of past church experiences

Hate:
-the fact that I often have to pop Exedrin when I write about some of my past church experiences. Anyone who causes another human being this much pain and trauma ought to be ashamed of themselves.

-people who believe that genocide “can’t happen again.” Post-Holocaust genocide HAS happened and IS happening. Anyone who believes otherwise is a wackaloony, to put it nicely.

-the fact that there will always be spiritual abuse deniers. (I am going to write a lot more about this once I get all my thoughts in order, but in a nutshell, spiritual abuse is using a religious ideology to manipulate either a single person or a group or people)

Gratitude Challenge

Sometimes I feel like I’ve got it all together and everything is under control. May I be completely honest? The past few weeks or so have definitely NOT been “sometimes.” After several months of somewhat smooth sailing in the chronic health issue department, I’m hitting rapids again. My issues are caused by hormonal imbalances, so when things flare up I never know if my body will act pregnant, teenager-y, menopausal, or some freaky combination of all the above.

The past couple days I’ve been a bit of a mess, physically and emotionally. There’s all this crap going on in the Middle East, things aren’t exactly perfect in the U.S., why do doctors insist on using pink IV catheters when I’m already nauseous, and on top of everything else, I’m going to be 30! It’s only three and a half years away, which is not that long. Someday I’m going to leave my 20’s behind forever and I don’t have any of the things I thought I’d have by the time I’m 30. (On that subject, I have no idea how I’m supposed to have 2.5 kids. But I digress.)

Yeeeeah, that is not the most productive mindset. So I was thrilled when I got picked for the gratitude challenge that’s been making the rounds. I’m not usually one for tagging people in things on Facebook, but it was such a mood booster for me, and I’ve received several comments and messages from people saying how much it encouraged them. So I thought I’d stop the “I’m going to be 30!” train and instead share my list from the gratitude challenge.

Here goes!

Day One
1.) ceiling fans
2.) water-based nail polish that doesn’t make me cough up a lung
3.) my wonderful kitty Esther!

Day Two:
1.) peppermint essential oil
2.) a morning walk with the hubby
3.) iced coffee

Day Three:
1.) cooler weather
2.) wonderful friends, both near and far, “in person” and online
3.) 80’s and 90’s sitcoms (don’t mock :P)

Day Four:
1.) the smell of homemade bread
2.) YARN!!!!
3.) Iced mint tea

Day Five:
1.) Messianism, and coming to know G-d as Abba and HaShem
2.) Sunshine
3.) lemon balm tea