I’m not going to lie: I just had a really tough week. I mean a Really. Tough. Week. I’m not referring to lovely TMI symptoms, although there were some of those too. I’m talking about the nitty-gritty, cold hard realities. At first I was hesitant about sharing all this. After all, there’s a reason no one tell you these things: they’re uncomfortable. But ignorance is where misconceptions start, so I’m taking the plunge and sharing the more uncomfortable realities of life with an illness that isn’t going anywhere. Here goes!
1.) My illness puts me on house arrest more often than I care to admit, especially in the dead of winter. I just went five days without leaving my apartment. My record is 18 days. It’s not a matter of “just getting out more”, so if that is what you were going to say to me, kindly shut your cookie hole. Sometimes I literally just can’t get out. A mobility service dog will increase my chance of being able to get out, but until or less I am accepted for one, this is the reality.
2.) In addition to being painful and miserable, chronic illness is as boring as hell. This week I actually bawled like a baby, not because I was depressed, but because I was so blooming BORED!
3.) On days I can’t work, socialize, or read, I will blow out brain cells watching TV because that is far better than letting soul-killing depression sink in.
4.) Depression and suicidal thoughts are extremely common in people who life with chronic illness. Honestly, if I live alone, I’d probably be dead by now.
5.) Rude comments are heartbreaking.
6.) Sometimes shaving is a non-event. This isn’t about making feminist statements. It’s about making the statement that I am too exhausted and hurt to shave. (Yes, hurty is a word. Deal with it! :p)
7.) On the really bad days, the “invisible illness” concept feels like a myth. I don’t understand how people don’t see it.