BEDS Day 6: Rules My Cat Lives By

Sorry for the unintentional break from BEDS posts.  A huge part of chronic illness management is listening to your body, and my body was sending me frantic memos along the lines of “Don’t even think about turning on the computer today!”  But I’m feeling somewhat better today, and I’m going to write three more posts to get caught up to Day 8 as soon as I can.

Today I thought I’d write about my cat.  Esther is 15 and definitely acts like a teenager.  She’s perfectly flexible as long as everything is exactly the way she wants it.  (What Do You Mean That Reminds You of Someone? :p)  She was a stray before we got her from a shelter, and in some ways she acts a bit more feral than most domestic cats.  She hates canned cat food and brightly colored cat toys.  The hubs and I assume this is because those aren’t exactly natural and she’s not used to them.  When she needs pills, the hubs and I have to mash them up in tuna because that is the closest to canned food that she will eat.

I thought it would be funny to write a list of rules Esther lives by, since the Internet is extremely short on cat humor and all :p.  Here goes!

1.)  My butt belongs in Mommy’s face.  The more she tries to get my butt out of her face, the more it needs to be there.

2.)  If the humans get out ice cream or organic jerky, immediately throw personal boundaries out the window!

3.)  Never use the $35 cat bed under any circumstances.

4.) Go crazy whenever a plastic bag makes a noise, because the only reason humans should open a plastic bag is to give me treats!

5.)  Play with electric cords, especially when they’re plugged in.

6.)  Howl loudly when the humans refuse to open the glass patio door.

7.)  Growl fiercely at heavy snow.  It has no business being here!

8.)  Growl fiercely and flatten ears at organ music on TV or YouTube.

9.)  Glare at the humans when they come home smelling like a strange dog or cat.

10.)  When the humans have been gone for longer than a couple hours, sit on them and growl when they try to get up.  This is a huge transgression and they must be held accountable!

Thanks for reading, and I’ll be back with day 7 soon!




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